Fail
From CWCki
The following is an alphabetized list of things Chris fails at:
- Anger management
- Animal imitation
- Apologizing
- Applying what he was taught at school
- Appreciating classic American literature
- Attracting single women to initiate conversation with him
- Beating kids half his age at trading card games
- Being a son
- Being the real Christian Weston Chandler
- Birthday cards
- Blackmail
- Bodily fluid disposal
- Bros before hos
-
Cartesian geometrytrivial integer division - Case modding
- Cleanliness
- Clothing customization
- Coining terms Freud wouldn't have a field day with.
- Comedy
- Concealing his identity on IRC
- Conference calls
- Continuity
- Controller customization
- Convincing women to go over to his house
- DVD design
- Dating
- Dedicating a corner of his room to women
- Developing relationships with women
- Dignity
- Dishware design
- Distinguishing the same person by voice
- Distinguishing trolls from white knights
- Distinguishing women by face
- Drawing
- Driving
- Earning income
- Editing Encyclopedia Dramatica
- Editing Wikipedia
- Emotion
- Empathy
- Erotica
- Estimating weight
- Exercising
- Explaining anything
- Extortion
- Fact checks
- Fashion
- Feasible methods for tobacco disposal
- Fecal continence
- Feigning High-Octane Tard Rage
- Feigning Multiple Personality Disorder
- Feigning Tears
- Fighting
- Fighting his own battles
- Finding karaoke tracks
- Finding single women
- First kiss
- Friendship
- Having a phone conversation with a girl's parents
- Heterosexuality
- History
- Holding a pen
- Holding in farts
- Holding his pants up
- Honesty
- Honoring the dad
- Honoring the dead
- Hostage negotiations
- Hotel Management
- Humility
- Identifying women by voice
- Ignoring trolls
- Impulse control
- Initiating conversation with women
- Introducing himself to women
- Invention
- Learning at school
- Learning from his mistakes
- Learning the truth from moralfags about the trolls
- Learning what moralfags try to teach him
- Life
- Little Big Planet
- Love
- Loyalty
- Lying
- Magazine design
- Making a positive impression on a girl's father
- Maintaining Grout
- Masturbation
- Meteorite classification
- Modesty
- Muscle flexing
- Music
- Narration
- Not branding himself a troll
- Not promoting fradulent merchandise sellers
- Nutrition
- Password strength
- Personal hygiene
- Poetry
- Portraying Native Americans
- Posing
- Powerpoint
- Pronouncing the words "Pastiche" and Amethyst.
- Publicity
- Push-Ups
- Racial equality
- Radio interviews
- Rap
- Realizing that his "ace in the hole" is neither an ace nor in the hole
- Realizing that licensed games are almost always crap
- Recycling
- Religion
- Remembering 9-11
- Resumes
- Ripping off the head of his clown doll
- Saving money
- Scrapbooking
- Self criticism
- Sex
- Shaving
- Showing his fangs
- Showing the middle finger
- Singing
- Sleeping
- Speaking English
- Speaking Spanish
- Spelling
- Sponsoring products and media
- Sportsmanship
- Staying faithful
- Staying straight
- Strength
- Taking a shower
- Talking
- Teaching
- Thoroughly investigating the sellers of fraudulent merchandise
- Trading card design
- Understanding crabs
- Waking up
- Washing dishes
- Web page design
- Weddings
- Weight control
- Workin' on it
- And many more...
We could easily change the title of this section to "The CWCki Directory" and its meaning wouldn't change.
BUT WAIT! What doesn't Chris fail at?
There are some things Chris doesn't totally fail at...
-
Graduating from high school(He started bawwing during the award ceremony.) -
Computer-aided Drafting and DesignQED -
EXCELLING IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!("damn 120°, 130° whatever, whatever the half of 360° is") - Staying away from tobacky. (So far, so good...)
-
Staying away from alcohol.Yeah right... -
Drawing his shitty Sonichu comic.(To most, this would not be considered a particularly useful skill, but it's the closest thing Chris-chan ever had. Admit it, he could draw marginally better than somebody who didn't give a fuck, though he wanted payment for his work, so that places him on the bottom again. He barely summons the effort to finish any Sonichu comics and he presumably abandoned all efforts to finish Sonichu 9 onward in 2009, as it was not helping him to get any china.) -
Playing video games.(Oh wait!) - Color theory.
- Operating a door knob.
- Being a lolcow.
- And not much more.
